Right now, I’m in Richmond, VA spending some time with the next group of young adult missionary candidates through the Generation Transformation program. These are Interview and Discernment Days, which means the candidates get some time to hang out and discern with us, and also the opportunity to have a more formal interview to see if the program is a good fit.
Tonight, one of our staff, Patti, shared a silly story which gets to a great point about missions. Imagine I come to your place for a visit, and I’m the type of person who is eager to help people do things better. I notice that your dining table is in your kitchen. I say, “Goodness, why do you eat in here? I keep my dining table in my bedroom and it’s WAY better in there. You ought to change. Look, I’ll even help you move it. Then you’ll learn how great it is, and you can teach your friends also!”
A very simple story, and I know it is easy to pick out bugs, but let’s take a closer look. I want to highlight three things about it from a missions perspective.
First, it’s awesome to be willing and eager to help people. The enthusiasm and energy of people on missions trips is wonderful! I’ve been there myself. Here is one dilemma that is easy to get caught in. No needs assessment was performed in the case of me coming to your house. I didn’t find out if you even have any problems that you want to work together to solve! In fact, I didn’t even say that you and I have any kind of relationship to begin with, so your culture and way of life might be totally lost on me! Mission ought to start with forming relationships, understanding community assets, and also clarifying community concerns.
Secondly, a good question to note is this: whose way is actually better? Where does it make sense to put the dining table? This could be asked from a utilitarian standpoint, and also should be asked from a cultural or traditional standpoint. Probably most people would say that it makes sense for the table to be in the kitchen. On the other hand, maybe in my home (culture), we have little kitchens and big bedrooms, so it actually makes more sense for my table to be in my bedroom. This might not be true in your home though.
Finally, in the story, I’m not coming in with an attitude of learning. Instead of telling you that your table is in the wrong place, I could find out why you put your dining table in the kitchen. Perhaps I would learn that this indeed is a better way of doing things! I could return home, move my table into the kitchen, and show my friends this great trick I learned from another person I met. To me, this is one of the core values of mission – learning something new about a people and bringing the story home to share.
The excitement and enthusiasm to serve is great among people these days. Lots of people want to give of their time and money to join a culture of service. While serving, it’s so important to remember how much we can learn from others, even those we perceive as needy or lacking. It’s also important to realize that blindly serving without considering the true assets and needs of a community could lead to more problems, not just a silly story.
We’re all created in God’s image with great value, and we all have experiences to share. Mission is all about sharing those stories and joining forces to resolve those things we call problems. That includes the problems in the lives of those who seek to serve. We’re all broken people, and we’re all in this thing together.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
sabbath post: the wind-blown Spirit
So here I am, bedtime on a Wednesday night, just sitting down to my blog. I actually have a pile of ideas I'd like to expand on, but I'm trying to renew my commitment to getting appropriate rest. I just didn't have time for a thorough blog post this week, so I'm starting a new tradition of Sabbath posts so I can keep my commitment of Wednesday posts and also make sure I get enough sleep.
One of my favorite scriptures is John 3:8.
The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.
I like things to be linear, structured, and organized. This verse is not comforting to me. How can I figure out life when it just blows all over the place? And Jesus is telling me that's how it goes with people born of the Spirit?
I first started to actually enjoy this scripture when I started seriously considering God's calling on my life. It's not straightforward, there is no system or ten-step process to follow. We get the Spirit to follow, and the Spirit blows like the wind!
How does this verse inform your calling? Also, how are you getting some Sabbath rest lately?
One of my favorite scriptures is John 3:8.
The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.
I like things to be linear, structured, and organized. This verse is not comforting to me. How can I figure out life when it just blows all over the place? And Jesus is telling me that's how it goes with people born of the Spirit?
I first started to actually enjoy this scripture when I started seriously considering God's calling on my life. It's not straightforward, there is no system or ten-step process to follow. We get the Spirit to follow, and the Spirit blows like the wind!
How does this verse inform your calling? Also, how are you getting some Sabbath rest lately?
Thursday, February 13, 2014
what can a toy tell me about masculinity?
One of my first experiences of the new year was attending a Healthy Masculinity Training Institute by an organization called Men Can Stop Rape. To quote their mission statement, they want “To mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women.” Part of that training consisted of thinking more deeply about masculinity and what it means to be a man.
Toward the beginning, we had a discussion around two “word clouds,” which are below. They were formed by recording the words in toy commercials, tallying the number of times certain words were said, and adjusting the size of the word based on the tally. So, the larger the word, the more times, relatively, it showed up in commercials. You can read more about it here if you like.
Take a minute and look at each one before reading on. What do you observe?
I’ve had a few good conversations and email exchanges over these two very interesting images. As a man, the violence of the boy’s word cloud is what immediately caught my eye. Boys learn all about battle, power, weapons, and similar things from a young age. While I get a certain sense of nostalgia upon reading these words, thinking back on Ninja Turtles, Nerf guns, and the like, I have to also think more about the violence I was exposed to when I was young, and how much it guided or informed my view of the world. These words could be harmful if a boy finds his identity or worth in them.
On the other hand, typical girls’ toys are described by "softer" words. To me, a lot of these divide up into two categories. One category is of words focused on appearance – pretty, hair, nails, style, etc. These may be harmful if a girl finds her identity and worth in them. The second category is of words which I would call valuable, like love, fun, and friendship. To me, these are some of the things that life is all about. When mixed in with the first group of words, though, they could become problematic, implying that things like love and friendship are on par with, or worse, come from things like pretty and style. In this sense, I can see how some people would come to the conclusion that all of these words promote a softness, weakness, or passivity.
Additionally, it's interesting to note that that words like these are pretty much absent from the boys’ word cloud. To be fair, I do see words like buddy, friends, and skill, but they are overwhelmed by other words.
Just a quick caveat before we continue: I’m not saying toy advertising defines masculinity or femininity, nor does it completely determine how kids turn out, but to me, the images reflect a certain truth about the cultural environment we all grow up in as Americans.
To see marketing presented this way is a bit startling. Do we value violence as a people? Do we value weakness or passivity? I don’t think anyone would say they truly value these things.
I think they are marketed this way because of a certain status quo. “Boys like battles because they have always liked battles; girls like tea parties because they have always liked tea parties. Why change?” Changing takes energy, introspection, and conversation, and if people can't see a good reason to invest the time and energy, they won't do it. I don't think there is some conspiracy of men who consciously decides training boys to be violent and girls to be passive is a good idea. I think it’s more of a neglect to see that we could do things a different and better way.
I’m also not coming from the place where I think all aspects of gender should be up-ended. Just the harmful parts. Changing a few things could yield profound results, like men who use their strengths and gifts for creation and healing rather than violence and destruction, and, likewise, women who realize and use their strengths and gifts to make the world a better place.
In short, my hope is that we create environments where we can discover and live into the call of God rather than the call of society.
Toward the beginning, we had a discussion around two “word clouds,” which are below. They were formed by recording the words in toy commercials, tallying the number of times certain words were said, and adjusting the size of the word based on the tally. So, the larger the word, the more times, relatively, it showed up in commercials. You can read more about it here if you like.
Take a minute and look at each one before reading on. What do you observe?
I’ve had a few good conversations and email exchanges over these two very interesting images. As a man, the violence of the boy’s word cloud is what immediately caught my eye. Boys learn all about battle, power, weapons, and similar things from a young age. While I get a certain sense of nostalgia upon reading these words, thinking back on Ninja Turtles, Nerf guns, and the like, I have to also think more about the violence I was exposed to when I was young, and how much it guided or informed my view of the world. These words could be harmful if a boy finds his identity or worth in them.
On the other hand, typical girls’ toys are described by "softer" words. To me, a lot of these divide up into two categories. One category is of words focused on appearance – pretty, hair, nails, style, etc. These may be harmful if a girl finds her identity and worth in them. The second category is of words which I would call valuable, like love, fun, and friendship. To me, these are some of the things that life is all about. When mixed in with the first group of words, though, they could become problematic, implying that things like love and friendship are on par with, or worse, come from things like pretty and style. In this sense, I can see how some people would come to the conclusion that all of these words promote a softness, weakness, or passivity.
Additionally, it's interesting to note that that words like these are pretty much absent from the boys’ word cloud. To be fair, I do see words like buddy, friends, and skill, but they are overwhelmed by other words.
Just a quick caveat before we continue: I’m not saying toy advertising defines masculinity or femininity, nor does it completely determine how kids turn out, but to me, the images reflect a certain truth about the cultural environment we all grow up in as Americans.
To see marketing presented this way is a bit startling. Do we value violence as a people? Do we value weakness or passivity? I don’t think anyone would say they truly value these things.
I think they are marketed this way because of a certain status quo. “Boys like battles because they have always liked battles; girls like tea parties because they have always liked tea parties. Why change?” Changing takes energy, introspection, and conversation, and if people can't see a good reason to invest the time and energy, they won't do it. I don't think there is some conspiracy of men who consciously decides training boys to be violent and girls to be passive is a good idea. I think it’s more of a neglect to see that we could do things a different and better way.
I’m also not coming from the place where I think all aspects of gender should be up-ended. Just the harmful parts. Changing a few things could yield profound results, like men who use their strengths and gifts for creation and healing rather than violence and destruction, and, likewise, women who realize and use their strengths and gifts to make the world a better place.
In short, my hope is that we create environments where we can discover and live into the call of God rather than the call of society.
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