silly questions

Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves.”
John 6:26

Merry Christmas!

This post is going to be like time travel – written on the bus on Saturday, posted on Wednesday. On Saturday morning, I awoke at the early (late?) hour of 4:45am to begin my trek home for Christmas vacation. Traveling by bus is one way I’ve given in to simple living. It’s a release of control compared with having a car – I don’t get much choice as to when I leave, who I ride with, how much stuff I bring, or what temperature the cabin is. Door to door, it’s about 11 hours of travel instead of 6 by car. DC bus to Union Station (oops, bus didn’t come, I had to walk); Megabus to Philadelphia; 2 hour layover; Megabus to State College via Harrisburg; car ride to Brockport.

On the other hand, it is very freeing. There is a lot of time for reflection, reading, and even writing a blog post. While in Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station (pictured) waiting to change buses, I got the opportunity to hang out and chat with a panhandler (not homeless – he had an apartment) for 20 minutes or so. That’s the first time I’ve ever had someone ask me for money and then walk away because they had other things to do!

I read the above scripture during one of my times of waiting. It grabbed me. Earlier in John 6, John records Jesus’ feeding of the 5,000. After everyone had eaten, Jesus slipped away quietly, sensing the desire of the people to “take him by force and make him king.” The next day, the people traced Jesus’ path and caught up with him. “When did you come here?” they wanted to know.

One of the fun things for me about John’s version of the Gospel is that Jesus almost never answers questions directly. I’ve read or heard somewhere that Jesus is so sensitive that he sees through these superficial questions and answers the question that is actually on the hearts of people. Jesus knows that when he came to Capernaum across the sea is not important. The more important question is: why are they are so drawn to Jesus?

I imagine them, and even myself, answering, “Dude, you took five dinner rolls and two cans of tuna and fed 5,000 of us! And we got to take home leftovers!” (Sidenote: I love leftovers)

“Nope. Pretty cool, but actually, you were hungry, and I fed you.” Seeing a miracle is pretty amazing, but having a hole in your soul filled is way better.

Jesus didn’t just give them something to eat to fill their bellies. Manna, the flaky bread-like substance that God provided for the Israelites in the wilderness, is pretty amazing. Jesus – the bread of heaven, God incarnate, walking among us and with us, showing us new ways to live, living and dying to reconcile us to God – is way better. “When did you come here?” now seems like a silly question!

Let’s keep asking God silly questions though. We might not be able to get to the tougher and more important ones on our own.

I hope your Christmas and holiday season has been everything you needed and everything God wanted for you, and that 2013 treated you well. I know it’s been a trip for me. Thank you for your continued support, including reading my blog!

Come, Lord Jesus. Reign in this world; reign in my heart. Merry Christmas!

hard at work

I didn't expect the weeks leading up to Christmas to be the busy season for the Seminar Program, but they have been! I’m currently in the midst of my fifth seminar since the beginning of November. I haven’t posted for a while, so I thought I’d just put up a few recent photos as an update.

One of my seminars was for Central Methodist University, which is where one of my US-2 buddies, Kharissa, is placed! It was great to see her and work with her campus ministry group as they processed some service and learning around food justice and brainstorming ways to organize efforts to collect excess food around their campus.

Last week, the storms moved in and the snow flew in our Nation's Capitol. The threat of heavy snow was so high that all the grade schools and universities in the District shut down. The federal government also closed their doors for the day, remembering "Snowpacalypse" a few years ago which resulted in massive abandonment of cars in major roadways as people tried to get home from work. The snow came down hard, but it didn't hold fast. We had an eager group of AmeriCorps member serving with Habitat for Humanity scheduled for a seminar - they said, "the show must go on!" So we did!

I had a great time working with this group of mature, worldly, young adults! They wanted time to explore some issues they don't often talk about, such as drug use, incarceration, and violence, as well as some time to process and reflect on their first few months of service. In the photos below, I'm having them make "What people think I do/what I really do" memes about their AmeriCorps experience so far. What kind of misconceptions might you have about Habitat for Humanity? Unlimited numbers of houses wrapped in bows? Door keys raining from heaven? Nonstop "glory shots" of people raising wall frames? Or maybe, passionate, compassionate, and skilled individuals spending some valuable time in service and learning, and discerning next steps in their careers? (Credit Jay in New York for that wonderful activity idea!)

This week, we're hosting another H4H AmeriCorps team, and they have been just as amazing to work with as last week's group. Our Seminar Design Consultant (my direct supervisor is on leave for a few weeks) Larry let me take the wheel and drive for the first time, taking lead on facilitating the group. It's been the strange and beautiful combination of energizing and exhausting that is group facilitation. I'm up early again tomorrow, so I'm signing off for now. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Newsletter!

Well, I missed a post last week. If you haven't caught on, I'm doing my best to drop a new post every Wednesday evening. My excuse? I was working on my first newsletter! Inside, you'll find a brief version of my call story, a little about my work and what I'm learning, and a pretty spiffy banner, if I may be so bold. Yes, the color scheme is a little spastic, and green doesn't always look great on computers - I'll work on that for next time.

I hope you enjoy it and find a new connection with God through my story. If you'd like to get on my mailing list, just grab my email address from my "about" page and drop me a line.

Happy Thanksgiving!

it's just a coat (or is it?)

My first dilemma: it's getting cold in Washington, DC and winter is on the way. I have a winter coat which is fairly warm, waterproof, and overall, reasonably functional. On the other hand, it is also a bold blue and white ski jacket that I've had since college (at least 7 years ago). I wouldn't exactly blend in on Capitol Hill or walking around the city with seminar groups. So, if I got a more professional looking coat, basically just to fit in with the in-crowd, would that make me materialistic? My mom and a handful of other people more or less said, "no, it's important to look presentable" so I'm going to take that as a sign that getting a new coat might be an ok thing. I'm still a little uneasy about it, especially after recalling Luke 12:22-31, but let's put that dilemma on the backburner and assume getting a new coat is an acceptable thing for me to do.

My second dilemma: the act of buying a new coat. My checklist: warm, waterproof (I bike, walk, or bus to work), and professional-looking. Mom told me it should match my pants (whatever that means) (yes, Mom still helps me shop for clothes because it's something that exhausts me). It would be great if it is also responsibly made. There's a redeeming factor for buying a new coat - it could lead to opportunities to raise awareness about responsibly made goods.

My first thought was "sweatshop free," and my next thought was American Apparel. I remember talking about the company in Bible study back in Michigan. They have a couple stores in downtown DC and they have some coats listed online which look to fit the bill. They are a bit pricier than I would generally pay (coats in the ~$150 range), but responsibly made means you pay a legitimate price for a product instead of the product being subsidized by low wages. I actually read large pieces of their "About Us" page and felt good about their business model and corporate attitude. I came across a small part of their page which talked about a line of products they have made with organic cotton. Whoa. I wasn't even thinking about where the raw materials came from. As far as I can tell, they don't tout any coats having been made from responsibly sourced materials. Maybe I should poke around on the internet and see what else I can find, just for fun-zies.

I found it difficult to find clothing, especially outerwear, made from responsibly sourced materials. I did come across Patagonia. The way they keep shop really blew me away, both from the standpoint of intentionality and also humility. Workers taken care of? Check. Organic cotton? Check. Some fabrics made from recycled plastic bottles? Check. Black Friday ad saying "Don't buy this jacket"? Check. Inspiring. The cost of a winter coat? We're talking about $500.

To quote the founder of Patagonia, "Living the examined life is a pain in the ass." Yes, Yvon Chouinard, it is a pain in the ass.

To formalize my dilemma, $500 is a real stretch on a missionary budget. $150 is doable, but is buying just to the level of responsibly manufactured really worth the premium? Maybe I should just go for one of the $50 coats I found with my family over the weekend?

After agonizing over it for a few days, here's where I land. I think we have the responsibility to do the best we can with the resources we have. In Luke 12:34, Jesus tells us "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." We ought to put our two cents (or $500) into places we can believe in, insofar as our finances permit. Not all of us have the resources to buy the most responsibly made products. Plenty of people make way less than I do and just need something warm on their back that looks respectable. But some, even many, of us can choose to support companies who are oriented in a way that respects God's creation. When there is a market need for something, companies will be looking to fill it.

Disclaimer: this is approached from a personal responsibility perspective and doesn't address the more socially or systemically based question of why everyone can't afford clothes that are generated sustainably. Maybe someday I'll have ability to try that one, but I'm not there yet. I think I will say that it isn't enough to consider only individual or social responsibility, but both together.
 

Abba time

These days, I often don’t remember the entire gist of a message, but I do often take a memorable morsel with me. Neal gave a beautiful anecdote today in staff worship. He talked about how much he cherishes the time he gets to spend with his kids in the morning. He wakes up early and makes a hot breakfast for them, and they eat together in their breakfast nook, looking out over their backyard. This peaceful time is the beginning of the day, where afterwards the kids race off to school and recreation, and Dad off to work and business.

How much does God cherish the time we spend with him? God must be thrilled to sit down with God’s children, listen to our dreams and hopes, our thoughts and feelings, and our fears and doubts. What a wonderful time to be connected and centered before being sent into the world for the day!

Sometimes when I pray, I almost consider it some kind of obligation, especially before I head out to work in the morning. It has become part of my routine. Routines are great when you want to make sure you do something important, but routines can also become mechanical and lifeless – just going through the motions.

Routines go in seasons for me. I need the structure, but I also need variety within that structure to maintain vitality. Messages and realizations like today’s renew my mind, resurrecting life from lifeless places. Why do I do this prayer thing every morning? Oh, yeah!

What ways do you keep your sacred time with God vital? I’d love to hear them!

prayers for justice

Recently, I was thinking about the kinds of things I typically ask God for, or that I hear people ask God for. A lot of them boil down to something to the effect of reducing suffering now. For example, heal the ill friend, comfort the mourning family, or strengthen the weak will. Recently, I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about mercy, or meeting immediate needs, versus justice, or final and permanent victory over sin, death, and suffering. I realized that I don’t often pray for justice, and I rarely use that term in my prayer life.

Many church ministries are based around mercy, but few, if any, around justice. For example, we may address hunger by preparing meals and donating to food banks, but we often don't work to end hunger once and for all (treat yourself to a thought experiment: how can we achieve a permanent end to hunger?).

So, from my humble perspective, it looks like the way we do ministry effects even our prayer life, or at least mine. I do work, and then that's how I pray. That's actually backwards. Talking with God should change who I am, and send me out to do things God's way. I'll never get to justice if I'm only praying for mercy.

I have to pause here: mercy is necessary and even required, and is no less important than justice. As a mentor of mine, Susan, says, conjunctions are important. Looking at Micah 6:8 and Matthew 23:23, does it say mercy or justice or faith? No, the conjunction is and! Balance is crucial.

From a recent sermon, I gleaned an interesting and unique point about prayers for justice. Jesus tells us that prayers for justice by God’s chosen ones will be answered, and quickly! When I learn something like that, I feel challenged to try it. It's like God is saying to me, "Go ahead, take me up on my promises. Try me."

Well, I sat back, and in a sense wondered how I should pray for justice! Wow, that sounds silly as I type it, but I landed there after thinking about this for a bit. I've certainly prayed for peace in war torn areas of the world and similar things, but, to me, that's so impersonal. I asked God to help me think about ways to pray for justice, and he answered that prayer right away. Well, that's too personal to share here, but just know and remember that God is faithful.

Will you take God up on this promise today? Pick a small thing, some small injustice that you've experienced, and place it in God's hands. Further, share the result with a brother or sister to the glory of God.

Prayer requests:

• God's truth about justice would be ever clearer to me
• I grow as a balanced agent for justice, mercy, and faith in Jesus' name

A matter of faith

I'm on the NY subway, wondering how I would ever get around this city without my smartphone. Ok, yeah, a map would do the trick; let's leave that aside for the moment. Living and spending time in the city and public transit has helped me to realize how useful the phone can be. It also helped me realize how much faith I put in it. Navigating the city underground, I trust that this tiny black box with its glowing screen is going to help me reach the goal. And it almost never fails!

Life is kind of like navigating a new city. So many directions to go, and so many different ways to get there. A guide sure would be helpful! Thank God for the Holy Spirit. The Spirit knows "the city" and helps us reach the goal and all the best stops along the way.

The challenge is to put even more faith in the Spirit than I do in my phone! How easy it is to trust a simple thing like a phone; how much riskier it is to do so with a God who has plans which might look different than what we want or what we're comfortable with. How much do I trust God? How much do you trust God? It's a matter of trust. It's a matter of faith.

Evangelism: easier than ever

Now that I’ve become a missionary, it’s easier than ever to share my faith. In my previous life as an engineering graduate student, I didn't see many opportunities to talk about God and how he was working in and shaping my life. Church was one of my escapes from work – work that burdened and exhausted me to the point of leaving without my PhD. As my interest in grad school waned, my faith waxed brightly. After a series of contacts, by God’s grace, I applied for and became a missionary serving in Washington, DC for two years. My work includes designing and facilitating educational experiences based around a variety of social issues like poverty, immigration, and human trafficking. I’m finding my interest in engineering to be ever-present, and I hope to find ways to connect this with my walk in the Way which leads to life, joining my God given gifts and graces with God’s mercy and justice.

I can’t help but share this elevator pitch version of my call story when someone asks where I come from, why I’m in DC, or why the switch from engineering. I attended a gathering at a friend’s house over the weekend, and I must have told my call story ten or more times to complete strangers. The sharing just happens, and the words spill right out of my mouth. Why? Because my work and my faith are synergistic instead of mutually exclusive. I don't even have to try, and I find myself talking about my faith. It's an out-of-the-box, surprising story (who leaves engineering and goes into ministry?), and there is no honest way I can tell this story and leave God out of it.

One empty pocket in the story is that it focuses on me and neglects Jesus’ story, which is something I want to work on with God. Nonetheless, my experiences in story form are a gift that has given me the ability to share my faith with others, and help people understand better the kinds of things that actually matter to God.

How will I use this gift to glorify God and to advance God’s Kingdom? This is a question I want to ask myself a little more often. How will you, the reader, use your life and vocation to do the same, and how might we partner in this mission?

Prayer requests:

• Continued strength, vision, and openness as I explore a variety of social issues, which are new and complex.
• Open eyes to see and follow the movements of the Holy Spirit in my work.
• Smooth transitions for all who are moving around at Church and Society in the coming months.

Feeling like a disciple

I think I finally get it. After years of critique of those crazy Twelve, both my own and listening to others, I've become as one of them. Jesus called the disciples out of their chosen careers - some fishing, some tax collecting - and into a much different walk. How did they respond during the initial portions of that walk? Lots of ways we like to poke fun at. They argued about who is the greatest and asked who would sit at the right hand of Jesus in his kingdom. They had times of confusion and times of little faith. They fell asleep as Christ perspired what were like great drops of blood. They ran away and denied Jesus in his darkest hour. Maybe Thomas is the one we like to give the hardest time of all, when he declares that he won't believe in the risen Christ until he physically touches Jesus' crucifixion wounds.

I can relate. Six months ago, I was in engineering, and God was calling me. Just three months ago, I was wrapping things up at the lab, preparing for my new adventure with Jesus. Today, I'm serving as a missionary in our Nation's Capitol. As I begin this new walk, sometimes I just don't get it. The things I read or the things people say don't always connect with my experience. Sometimes I'm stubborn, and sometimes I shut down for a little bit. I probably fall asleep on or walk away from Jesus all the time.

I appreciate the persistence of the disciples. Even when they didn't get it, they hung in there. I appreciate the patience of Jesus. Even when they didn't get it, he hung in there.

I hope I'm a person who can hang in there, knowing I'm not always going to get it, and asking Jesus for crazy things like being able to see his wounds, and experience his life, death, and resurrection, in ways which are tangible to me. He'll meet me there, because that's how Jesus rolls.

The story so far

Wow, over two weeks since my last entry! Since then, I've been keeping busy. Here's the Cliff Notes version of what I've been up to:

• Moved back home for a few weeks, the longest time I've been home in several years. I had lots of quality time with my family, and I got to cook on the grill frequently!
• Through a combination of searching Craigslist and showing up for a couple days in person, I landed a great apartment in a good neighborhood, with easy-going roommates, and within easy bike range from the office and grocery store. God's provision never ceases to amaze me.
• While visiting the city, I toured what I would call a pretty crummy apartment. No A/C, kind of a sketchy neighborhood, and fleas - dead fleas all over the counter (bug bombed I guess?), and I left the place with itchy ankles. I realized I'm quite privileged to have the option of choosing not to live there.
• Enjoyed the great hospitality of my supervisor and his family.
• Moved in to my new place.
• Played Ultimate Frisbee on the National Mall!
• Attended a great worship service at Capitol Hill UMC.
• Biked EVERYWHERE (this is a really good thing).

Housing was a bit of a challenge, but other than that, I feel like I've done all the easy things, or all of the things that come naturally to me - meeting people, finding fun things to do, commuting on my bike.

That leaves the more difficult things. You know, those mysterious things I've missed out on over the past years while I studied engineering, those things I really haven't given more than a ounce or two of thought to. My first few days at the office have given me a little taste of that. One of my first hints was when I could only name 3 or 4 causes of poverty off the top of my head. That was today, after having talked about it with my other supervisor a few days ago, and surely having talked about it at training. How do people get into poverty, how do they get out, and how do we stop poverty from happening? Something tells me I'll be thinking about these questions a lot more over the next two years.

<><

Lord,
Thanks for leading me to victory in small ways, and thanks for your victory.
Thanks for fleabag apartments, flea bites on the ankles, and the realization that people live in those places and are glad.
Thanks for the help and hospitality of strangers and those I barely know.
Thanks for your provision in your perfect timing.
Prepare me for tough, uncomfortable teachings.
Take my heart of stone, and give me a heart of flesh.
Give me the mind and spirit to realize that all I have is for You and for restoring your creation.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.
Amen.

Farewell, Michigan

Living simply lesson #1: I have too much stuff. Somehow, I knew it before packing, but as I emptied out the closets and cupboards of the old 1034 mancave after five years of accumulating, it seemed the rooms filled up faster than the storage spaces emptied. Was this some kind of crazy twist on the fish and loaves account in Matthew? How could I have so much stuff that my team of five dapper lads could barely squeeze it all into a pickup truck and my car?

Packing felt awful. Having to scrounge and dumpster dive for empty cardboard boxes. Thrice. Missing out on some last drops of quality time with friends because I had to pack.

On the other hand, it felt wonderful to leave all of my furniture behind, give a box full of plates to a friend, and take a pile of things to my church to donate. Feeling bad to squirrel away, feeling good to give away. Things look so much different in the Kingdom.

I packed up and shipped out just over a week ago now. Leaving was hard. I was already pulling out of the parking lot when I realized that day would hold my last Sunday worship at Ann Arbor First and the last time I would see my many cherished Michigan friends in a long time. The door had shut on my apartment of five years by the time I realized it would likely be the last time I would walk through it. Driving down Route 23, I realized it could be the last time I would make that five hour drive (not that I'll miss the Ohio Turnpike too much). Michigan, it's been real!

Behind, I leave the whips and chains/Before me spreads sweet Freedom's plains/Farewell, farewell

Psalm 118

Ok, ok. The Lord hath made all the Daves, true. But this Dave was made by the Lord, hand-crafted to enjoy life abundant and to strive for a future with hope. Whether you're a Dave or not, you were made by God with a purpose too! With a name inspired by a t-shirt and and the 118th Psalm, and brought to you by the internet and technology, welcome to my web log.

Right now, I'm starting this blog as I also start a new chapter of my life: becoming a US-2 Young Adult Missionary through the United Methodist Church. I recently returned from training and was commissioned as a missionary on August 12. I am looking forward to beginning my service at the General Board of Church and Society in Washington, DC in just a few short weeks!

Prayer requests:

• God's continued presence and provision as I transition from Michigan to Pennsylvania, and then to DC, and that my fellow Young Adult Missionaries would also enjoy God's movements as they transition.
• An open heart and mind for learning about social issues, and a soft heart and tongue for times when I may disagree.
• Opportunities to discern vocationally during this time of service - will I connect my engineering with my faith, or do something altogether new?