Friday, October 4, 2013

Feeling like a disciple

I think I finally get it. After years of critique of those crazy Twelve, both my own and listening to others, I've become as one of them. Jesus called the disciples out of their chosen careers - some fishing, some tax collecting - and into a much different walk. How did they respond during the initial portions of that walk? Lots of ways we like to poke fun at. They argued about who is the greatest and asked who would sit at the right hand of Jesus in his kingdom. They had times of confusion and times of little faith. They fell asleep as Christ perspired what were like great drops of blood. They ran away and denied Jesus in his darkest hour. Maybe Thomas is the one we like to give the hardest time of all, when he declares that he won't believe in the risen Christ until he physically touches Jesus' crucifixion wounds.

I can relate. Six months ago, I was in engineering, and God was calling me. Just three months ago, I was wrapping things up at the lab, preparing for my new adventure with Jesus. Today, I'm serving as a missionary in our Nation's Capitol. As I begin this new walk, sometimes I just don't get it. The things I read or the things people say don't always connect with my experience. Sometimes I'm stubborn, and sometimes I shut down for a little bit. I probably fall asleep on or walk away from Jesus all the time.

I appreciate the persistence of the disciples. Even when they didn't get it, they hung in there. I appreciate the patience of Jesus. Even when they didn't get it, he hung in there.

I hope I'm a person who can hang in there, knowing I'm not always going to get it, and asking Jesus for crazy things like being able to see his wounds, and experience his life, death, and resurrection, in ways which are tangible to me. He'll meet me there, because that's how Jesus rolls.

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