how do you experience God's call? part 2

Jesus went out again beside the lake; the whole crowd gathered around him, and he taught them. As he was walking along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.
 
And as he sat at dinner in Levi’s house, many tax-collectors and sinners were also sitting with Jesus and his disciples—for there were many who followed him. When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax-collectors, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ When Jesus heard this, he said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’

Mark 2:13-17

I'm working my way through the book of Mark in my personal devotion time. This passage describes Jesus' call of Matthew (known as Levi here). I think the part that really hit me was the last verse, where Jesus says "I have come to call not the righteous, but sinners." This NRSV translation is probably more accurate, but I really like the nuance added by the NLT: " I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

We're going to do another exercise together. Should you grab a writing implement and a scrap of paper? Oh yes!

When I think about calling, I often like to rest in the areas where I think or feel I'm most excellent. What do I do great? What gifts has God given me? What are my greatest successes in life? I actually want to invite you to rest there for just a moment. Take about 2 minutes and write down some of your life's greatest successes.

When you finish, circle the 2-3 that you perceive are the most significant. Right now, in this moment, how do you hear God speaking to you through these? Go ahead and jot down some notes if you are moved.

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My supervisor and I are reading through a book together called Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. My summary of chapter 1 is this: God designed every part of us, including our souls - our true selves. We have gifts, passions, abilities, and proclivities which God has planted in us. Some of these have also come from our life experiences. We can let our lives speak - listen to the soul God has designed within us and which has some experience in the world - in many ways. Some of those ways might have come out in part 1 of this devotion, and might include "our actions and reactions, our intuitions and instincts, our feelings and bodily states of being," according to Palmer.

In the first part of today's devotion, we listed all of the positive things. What about the flip side though? Palmer writes,

But if I am to let my life speak things I want to hear, things I would gladly tell others, I must also let it speak things I do not want to hear and would never tell anyone else! My life is not only about my strengths and virtues, it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow. An inevitable though often ignored dimension of the quest for "wholeness" is that we must embrace what we dislike or find shameful about ourselves as well as what we are confident and proud of.

Ok, back to the pen and paper. Write down some of the things you consider your life's biggest failures, those trespasses and shadows. Don't worry how they tie in, just write for about 2 minutes.

Again, when you finish, circle the 2-3 most epic fails of the list. What is God revealing to you in this moment through these? How will you glorify God in spite of these? What new clues about your calling have you recognized?

These could also be painful. How might you work toward healing and restoration from these? Where do you need God's supernatural power to bring healing and restoration?

Our friend Levi/Matthew probably ripped off a lot of people as a tax collector. They were some of the most despised people in Jesus' day, being grouped in with the sinners and the outcast. I bet Matthew was tired of being isolated, and he probably got tired of taking advantage of people. I imagine him as someone who came to work day after day, sitting in his little tax booth, just looking and waiting and wishing for something new and different. Then in stepped Jesus with a simple call.

Our failures might not tell us what we should do, but they do help prune the list of options, informing us what is definitely not our call and what are the things we should walk away from. As for Matthew, he had a taste of the worldly life as a tax collector, and apparently that didn't suit him. All he needed was a simple call, an invitation, from a homeless man to see that there was something better for him!

So rest in your successes, but don't toss out your failures. They have a place in God's Kingdom too.

how do you experience God's call? part 1

A few of my brothers and sisters in mission have decided as part of Lent to write and share devotionals with one another. I thought I would share mine with the rest of the world too. I shared this exercise on a retreat with my Wesley Foundation Campus Ministry at Michigan a few years ago, and I though it would be worth sharing again, as I've thought about it recently.

Take out a piece of paper. Go on, I promise you won't have to share your feelings with anyone if you don't want to. Fold the paper in half, whichever way is natural for you. Take about 3 minutes and make a list or word cloud on one half of the paper to answer this question: in what ways do you communicate with God?

Don't read on until you've done this!

Got it? Good!

Now take another 3 minutes to write on the other half of the paper the answer to this question: in what ways does God communicate with you?

Finished? Go ahead and read on.

What do you notice about the two halves? After reading and responding to the two questions, how do you perceive them to be distinct?

I'll share two of my thoughts. I have the privilege of knowing both questions a priori, but my first list of ways I communicate with God looks kind of bland. It mostly says "prayer" and I've listed different modes. I also listed worship in song and instrument, and also writing. My list second list of ways God communicates with me is much richer. Nature, friends, urges, discomfort, brokenness, scripture, food, and many more. 1 Thessalonians 5 commends us to pray without ceasing, and I might expand that to say: be in communication with God at all times. Take in those moments of natural beauty and thank God. Sit in the brokenness and search for direction. Cherish that Godly advice from a trusted friend, and know that all of these are gifts from the Giver.

Secondly, I find my prayer life can be focused more on the "how do I communicate with God" part and less on the "how does God communicate with me" part. True communication is a two-way street. How is it with your soul? Given the ways that God communicates with you, what can you do today to change your lifestyle, habits, or environment to listen to the voice of God more clearly? I have to ask myself these questions as well.

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 19:1-4a (NRSV). To wrap up, read the words slowly, and let them flow in and around you as you read.

The heavens are telling the glory of God;
   and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours forth speech,
   and night to night declares knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
   their voice is not heard;
yet their voice goes out through all the earth,
   and their words to the end of the world.

Go into your day knowing we follow a God who calls us by name, if only we would listen.

sabbath post: sunset over capitol hill east

Spring is one of my favorite times of year. After a long, cold winter, 50 degrees feels like t-shirt weather. On top of that, I find that when the seasons change, that's when the best sunsets happen!

Below is a view from my doorstep in the Capitol Hill East neighborhood from last Friday. The yellows, pinks, and purples echoed down A Street as I walked up to the front door, and I couldn't resist pulling out my camera.

I was exhausted by the end of the day. I bolted out of work just after 5:00pm, knowing that a crazy two weeks of seminars would be just around the corner. As I headed out from the United Methodist Building, I noticed the sun setting in spectacular color over the Capitol Dome as the Washington Monument peeked up over the horizon a little behind. I thought to myself, it would be awesome to climb the steps of the Supreme Court and check out the view. I decided to buzz home instead, and probably missed a great opportunity to observe the beauty of creation and catch a glimpse of God.

It's a crazy season at the UM Seminar Program. We'll have eight seminars over the next two weeks. It sometimes feels like survival mode, just doing everything necessary to make sure the seminars flow well, and if they don't, taking corrective action.

I decided over Lent to focus on making sure I get enough rest. Mostly I am hoping to get eight hours of sleep per night. Sometimes, it's just not practical, but I try as a spiritual discipline to make it happen. I think that rest also extends to taking a few minutes to appreciate God's creation.

After work on Monday, the first day of "March Madness" at the Seminar Program, it was 60 degrees and sunny, plus we had an extra hour of daylight thanks to Daylight Savings Time. I made some dinner and ate outside, enjoying the fresh air, sunshine, some music in my headphones, and food. It was a great recharge, even for a moderate extrovert like myself. I'm looking forward to appreciating the beauty of life and creation more often.

Take time to be holy; the world rushes on.

diversity stories

This week began what my supervisor and I have dubbed “March Madness” where we have quite the flux of spring breakers knocking at the door of the Methodist Building. We use this term in the most loving way possible – I absolutely love having the excitement of people and energy in and out of the Building, eager and ready to change the world. It sure does keep us on our toes though. The latest winter storm "buried" DC under about 3 inches of snow, closing the Federal Government and most of the city on Monday, and making it difficult for our presenters and resource people to join us. But whether sleet, or hail, or stormy gale, the Seminar Program goes on!

This week was a treat for me. My crew (or at least twelve of them) from the Wesley Foundation at the University of Michigan (which, incidentally, is the oldest campus ministry in the Americas no matter what UIUC Wesley says) has been here for a seminar. I have very much enjoyed catching up on stories and hugs, and also learning right along-side my group!

The topic was race relations and affirmative action. This topic came up for the group because in Michigan, voters passed a referendum which said it is illegal to use race as a criteria for college admission, among other things. Since then, there has been a decline in enrollment notably among African American students and other racial minorities at University of Michigan. This has created a lot of racial tension on campus.

In addition to informational and interactive seminar sessions, we also had the chance to listen to historian Harold Bell at Ben’s Chili Bowl and share in Ash Wednesday service with the Wesley Foundation at Howard University. All of these experiences gave us ample opportunity to dialog about race and affirmative action.

I think I could write quite a bit about this topic, but I just want to lift up a reflection from my own experience. One distinct memory I have from college was trying to get my first internship. I talked to recruiter after recruiter at career fair, just hoping to get an interview. I didn’t expect that I would have to beg my way into an interview with my nearly 4.0 GPA, but that’s what I did. I really wanted to get in with one of the Big Three auto makers, but I ended up with an internship with a relatively small engineering firm that most people (including myself) had never heard of. Thankfully, I ended up with something, and it turned out to be a great experience! After career fair, I talked with one of my female engineering friends about how things went. She had her choice of offers from Ford, GM, and many others. I was pretty steamed about this, thinking she probably got her pick of awesome internships because of affirmative action.

I think that frustration is real for people, and I don’t think it is wrong. In fact, I think it’s good to acknowledge it, name it, and talk about it. I’ve learned that you can’t really help how you feel, only how you react. It is good to reflect (whether alone, with others, or in prayer) on feelings and understand them. Well, at least for a thinker like myself, this is helpful. Feelings don’t do much for me unless I can understand why I feel a certain way.

As I think back on this, I can make a couple conclusions. First, I can’t say for certain if affirmative action is why she had so many offers. She could have been more involved on campus than me (very likely), less socially awkward than me (very likely), and better at selling herself than me (very likely). Second, diversity is valuable, and I have a better understanding of that now. Long story short, increased diversity allows us collectively to problem solve from increasingly diverse angles and perspectives. Why is this important? Attacking problems from one direction may work, but there may be better approaches which are not obvious to people of one particular culture. If I’m running around the world moving everyone’s dining table into their bedrooms, I could miss out on a better solution. I could also miss the opportunity to collaborate to find an even better solution than either group could reach in isolation.

I thought Rev. Mulenga, who spoke to my group today and is the father of one member of the group, had a great spiritual insight. Humans are an image or reflection of the Invisible God. One human or one people group cannot capture that image fully, so God gave us diversity to help express that better. One is not more valuable than another, but all help to reflect God’s glory in different ways.

How are we reflecting that glory? Let me leave you with this “living-in-the-tension” kind of question as I also ponder it.