how do you experience God's call? part 2

Jesus went out again beside the lake; the whole crowd gathered around him, and he taught them. As he was walking along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him.
 
And as he sat at dinner in Levi’s house, many tax-collectors and sinners were also sitting with Jesus and his disciples—for there were many who followed him. When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax-collectors, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ When Jesus heard this, he said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’

Mark 2:13-17

I'm working my way through the book of Mark in my personal devotion time. This passage describes Jesus' call of Matthew (known as Levi here). I think the part that really hit me was the last verse, where Jesus says "I have come to call not the righteous, but sinners." This NRSV translation is probably more accurate, but I really like the nuance added by the NLT: " I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

We're going to do another exercise together. Should you grab a writing implement and a scrap of paper? Oh yes!

When I think about calling, I often like to rest in the areas where I think or feel I'm most excellent. What do I do great? What gifts has God given me? What are my greatest successes in life? I actually want to invite you to rest there for just a moment. Take about 2 minutes and write down some of your life's greatest successes.

When you finish, circle the 2-3 that you perceive are the most significant. Right now, in this moment, how do you hear God speaking to you through these? Go ahead and jot down some notes if you are moved.

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My supervisor and I are reading through a book together called Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. My summary of chapter 1 is this: God designed every part of us, including our souls - our true selves. We have gifts, passions, abilities, and proclivities which God has planted in us. Some of these have also come from our life experiences. We can let our lives speak - listen to the soul God has designed within us and which has some experience in the world - in many ways. Some of those ways might have come out in part 1 of this devotion, and might include "our actions and reactions, our intuitions and instincts, our feelings and bodily states of being," according to Palmer.

In the first part of today's devotion, we listed all of the positive things. What about the flip side though? Palmer writes,

But if I am to let my life speak things I want to hear, things I would gladly tell others, I must also let it speak things I do not want to hear and would never tell anyone else! My life is not only about my strengths and virtues, it is also about my liabilities and my limits, my trespasses and my shadow. An inevitable though often ignored dimension of the quest for "wholeness" is that we must embrace what we dislike or find shameful about ourselves as well as what we are confident and proud of.

Ok, back to the pen and paper. Write down some of the things you consider your life's biggest failures, those trespasses and shadows. Don't worry how they tie in, just write for about 2 minutes.

Again, when you finish, circle the 2-3 most epic fails of the list. What is God revealing to you in this moment through these? How will you glorify God in spite of these? What new clues about your calling have you recognized?

These could also be painful. How might you work toward healing and restoration from these? Where do you need God's supernatural power to bring healing and restoration?

Our friend Levi/Matthew probably ripped off a lot of people as a tax collector. They were some of the most despised people in Jesus' day, being grouped in with the sinners and the outcast. I bet Matthew was tired of being isolated, and he probably got tired of taking advantage of people. I imagine him as someone who came to work day after day, sitting in his little tax booth, just looking and waiting and wishing for something new and different. Then in stepped Jesus with a simple call.

Our failures might not tell us what we should do, but they do help prune the list of options, informing us what is definitely not our call and what are the things we should walk away from. As for Matthew, he had a taste of the worldly life as a tax collector, and apparently that didn't suit him. All he needed was a simple call, an invitation, from a homeless man to see that there was something better for him!

So rest in your successes, but don't toss out your failures. They have a place in God's Kingdom too.