fatal error

Before the title gets anyone too worked up, let me say, no one died that I know! Just my computer. Last night, my computer let me know:

McAfee Endpoint Encryption
Fatal Error: [0xEE020006] Getting disk info

Good times, great oldies. So, in lieu of the prose I had planned on posting, which is safe and sound on my computer's hard drive, you get this one that I'm making up on the spot. Oftentimes it's good to leave the Spirit some room to work.

I could spin this a million cliche ways - look how much we (I) rely on technology, take life's speed bumps in stride, this could be a God-given gift of patience testing, I shouldn't complain because there were people who slept outside in the single-digit cold last night, etc. I think those have all been written.

Well, this could be cliche too, but I'm going to go with it. I'm really hoping this is just a software problem, because if so, I should be able to recover my files and start fresh. My computer was starting to feel bogged down and sluggish, burdened and distracted by many things. This fatal error, this death, could be an opportunity to start fresh and new. The old life has died, and a new life, washed clean, can replace it. I think that's the opportunity Christ offers us.

What old life, old ways, old states-of-being is God calling us out of, and how will we respond? Will we respond immediately as the disciples did in Matthew 4?

Let's listen closely for God's call today.

 

happy new year!

silly questions

Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves.”
John 6:26

Merry Christmas!

This post is going to be like time travel – written on the bus on Saturday, posted on Wednesday. On Saturday morning, I awoke at the early (late?) hour of 4:45am to begin my trek home for Christmas vacation. Traveling by bus is one way I’ve given in to simple living. It’s a release of control compared with having a car – I don’t get much choice as to when I leave, who I ride with, how much stuff I bring, or what temperature the cabin is. Door to door, it’s about 11 hours of travel instead of 6 by car. DC bus to Union Station (oops, bus didn’t come, I had to walk); Megabus to Philadelphia; 2 hour layover; Megabus to State College via Harrisburg; car ride to Brockport.

On the other hand, it is very freeing. There is a lot of time for reflection, reading, and even writing a blog post. While in Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station (pictured) waiting to change buses, I got the opportunity to hang out and chat with a panhandler (not homeless – he had an apartment) for 20 minutes or so. That’s the first time I’ve ever had someone ask me for money and then walk away because they had other things to do!

I read the above scripture during one of my times of waiting. It grabbed me. Earlier in John 6, John records Jesus’ feeding of the 5,000. After everyone had eaten, Jesus slipped away quietly, sensing the desire of the people to “take him by force and make him king.” The next day, the people traced Jesus’ path and caught up with him. “When did you come here?” they wanted to know.

One of the fun things for me about John’s version of the Gospel is that Jesus almost never answers questions directly. I’ve read or heard somewhere that Jesus is so sensitive that he sees through these superficial questions and answers the question that is actually on the hearts of people. Jesus knows that when he came to Capernaum across the sea is not important. The more important question is: why are they are so drawn to Jesus?

I imagine them, and even myself, answering, “Dude, you took five dinner rolls and two cans of tuna and fed 5,000 of us! And we got to take home leftovers!” (Sidenote: I love leftovers)

“Nope. Pretty cool, but actually, you were hungry, and I fed you.” Seeing a miracle is pretty amazing, but having a hole in your soul filled is way better.

Jesus didn’t just give them something to eat to fill their bellies. Manna, the flaky bread-like substance that God provided for the Israelites in the wilderness, is pretty amazing. Jesus – the bread of heaven, God incarnate, walking among us and with us, showing us new ways to live, living and dying to reconcile us to God – is way better. “When did you come here?” now seems like a silly question!

Let’s keep asking God silly questions though. We might not be able to get to the tougher and more important ones on our own.

I hope your Christmas and holiday season has been everything you needed and everything God wanted for you, and that 2013 treated you well. I know it’s been a trip for me. Thank you for your continued support, including reading my blog!

Come, Lord Jesus. Reign in this world; reign in my heart. Merry Christmas!

hard at work

I didn't expect the weeks leading up to Christmas to be the busy season for the Seminar Program, but they have been! I’m currently in the midst of my fifth seminar since the beginning of November. I haven’t posted for a while, so I thought I’d just put up a few recent photos as an update.

One of my seminars was for Central Methodist University, which is where one of my US-2 buddies, Kharissa, is placed! It was great to see her and work with her campus ministry group as they processed some service and learning around food justice and brainstorming ways to organize efforts to collect excess food around their campus.

Last week, the storms moved in and the snow flew in our Nation's Capitol. The threat of heavy snow was so high that all the grade schools and universities in the District shut down. The federal government also closed their doors for the day, remembering "Snowpacalypse" a few years ago which resulted in massive abandonment of cars in major roadways as people tried to get home from work. The snow came down hard, but it didn't hold fast. We had an eager group of AmeriCorps member serving with Habitat for Humanity scheduled for a seminar - they said, "the show must go on!" So we did!

I had a great time working with this group of mature, worldly, young adults! They wanted time to explore some issues they don't often talk about, such as drug use, incarceration, and violence, as well as some time to process and reflect on their first few months of service. In the photos below, I'm having them make "What people think I do/what I really do" memes about their AmeriCorps experience so far. What kind of misconceptions might you have about Habitat for Humanity? Unlimited numbers of houses wrapped in bows? Door keys raining from heaven? Nonstop "glory shots" of people raising wall frames? Or maybe, passionate, compassionate, and skilled individuals spending some valuable time in service and learning, and discerning next steps in their careers? (Credit Jay in New York for that wonderful activity idea!)

This week, we're hosting another H4H AmeriCorps team, and they have been just as amazing to work with as last week's group. Our Seminar Design Consultant (my direct supervisor is on leave for a few weeks) Larry let me take the wheel and drive for the first time, taking lead on facilitating the group. It's been the strange and beautiful combination of energizing and exhausting that is group facilitation. I'm up early again tomorrow, so I'm signing off for now. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Newsletter!

Well, I missed a post last week. If you haven't caught on, I'm doing my best to drop a new post every Wednesday evening. My excuse? I was working on my first newsletter! Inside, you'll find a brief version of my call story, a little about my work and what I'm learning, and a pretty spiffy banner, if I may be so bold. Yes, the color scheme is a little spastic, and green doesn't always look great on computers - I'll work on that for next time.

I hope you enjoy it and find a new connection with God through my story. If you'd like to get on my mailing list, just grab my email address from my "about" page and drop me a line.

Happy Thanksgiving!

it's just a coat (or is it?)

My first dilemma: it's getting cold in Washington, DC and winter is on the way. I have a winter coat which is fairly warm, waterproof, and overall, reasonably functional. On the other hand, it is also a bold blue and white ski jacket that I've had since college (at least 7 years ago). I wouldn't exactly blend in on Capitol Hill or walking around the city with seminar groups. So, if I got a more professional looking coat, basically just to fit in with the in-crowd, would that make me materialistic? My mom and a handful of other people more or less said, "no, it's important to look presentable" so I'm going to take that as a sign that getting a new coat might be an ok thing. I'm still a little uneasy about it, especially after recalling Luke 12:22-31, but let's put that dilemma on the backburner and assume getting a new coat is an acceptable thing for me to do.

My second dilemma: the act of buying a new coat. My checklist: warm, waterproof (I bike, walk, or bus to work), and professional-looking. Mom told me it should match my pants (whatever that means) (yes, Mom still helps me shop for clothes because it's something that exhausts me). It would be great if it is also responsibly made. There's a redeeming factor for buying a new coat - it could lead to opportunities to raise awareness about responsibly made goods.

My first thought was "sweatshop free," and my next thought was American Apparel. I remember talking about the company in Bible study back in Michigan. They have a couple stores in downtown DC and they have some coats listed online which look to fit the bill. They are a bit pricier than I would generally pay (coats in the ~$150 range), but responsibly made means you pay a legitimate price for a product instead of the product being subsidized by low wages. I actually read large pieces of their "About Us" page and felt good about their business model and corporate attitude. I came across a small part of their page which talked about a line of products they have made with organic cotton. Whoa. I wasn't even thinking about where the raw materials came from. As far as I can tell, they don't tout any coats having been made from responsibly sourced materials. Maybe I should poke around on the internet and see what else I can find, just for fun-zies.

I found it difficult to find clothing, especially outerwear, made from responsibly sourced materials. I did come across Patagonia. The way they keep shop really blew me away, both from the standpoint of intentionality and also humility. Workers taken care of? Check. Organic cotton? Check. Some fabrics made from recycled plastic bottles? Check. Black Friday ad saying "Don't buy this jacket"? Check. Inspiring. The cost of a winter coat? We're talking about $500.

To quote the founder of Patagonia, "Living the examined life is a pain in the ass." Yes, Yvon Chouinard, it is a pain in the ass.

To formalize my dilemma, $500 is a real stretch on a missionary budget. $150 is doable, but is buying just to the level of responsibly manufactured really worth the premium? Maybe I should just go for one of the $50 coats I found with my family over the weekend?

After agonizing over it for a few days, here's where I land. I think we have the responsibility to do the best we can with the resources we have. In Luke 12:34, Jesus tells us "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." We ought to put our two cents (or $500) into places we can believe in, insofar as our finances permit. Not all of us have the resources to buy the most responsibly made products. Plenty of people make way less than I do and just need something warm on their back that looks respectable. But some, even many, of us can choose to support companies who are oriented in a way that respects God's creation. When there is a market need for something, companies will be looking to fill it.

Disclaimer: this is approached from a personal responsibility perspective and doesn't address the more socially or systemically based question of why everyone can't afford clothes that are generated sustainably. Maybe someday I'll have ability to try that one, but I'm not there yet. I think I will say that it isn't enough to consider only individual or social responsibility, but both together.
 

Abba time

These days, I often don’t remember the entire gist of a message, but I do often take a memorable morsel with me. Neal gave a beautiful anecdote today in staff worship. He talked about how much he cherishes the time he gets to spend with his kids in the morning. He wakes up early and makes a hot breakfast for them, and they eat together in their breakfast nook, looking out over their backyard. This peaceful time is the beginning of the day, where afterwards the kids race off to school and recreation, and Dad off to work and business.

How much does God cherish the time we spend with him? God must be thrilled to sit down with God’s children, listen to our dreams and hopes, our thoughts and feelings, and our fears and doubts. What a wonderful time to be connected and centered before being sent into the world for the day!

Sometimes when I pray, I almost consider it some kind of obligation, especially before I head out to work in the morning. It has become part of my routine. Routines are great when you want to make sure you do something important, but routines can also become mechanical and lifeless – just going through the motions.

Routines go in seasons for me. I need the structure, but I also need variety within that structure to maintain vitality. Messages and realizations like today’s renew my mind, resurrecting life from lifeless places. Why do I do this prayer thing every morning? Oh, yeah!

What ways do you keep your sacred time with God vital? I’d love to hear them!